Bad Mommy Moments

We have had an insane few weeks, kids with ear infections, chest infections and general grumpiness have ruled the roost. Add to that the fact that Smoo and I have both had pretty hectic work schedules and the sum is a fairly worn out family teetering on the brink of madness. Yup, I really do think my family could be even more insane than what we are.

Today turned out to be the proverbial straw which not only threatened to break the camels back but would actually draw and quarter it.

The morning started off like most normal mornings. I woke up with Oogie in bed with me, fine, that’s where she went to sleep so that was normal. I then looked over and noticed that the other rumpled form in the bed was not in fact Smoo (who had been there at some point in the night) but Boo. Actually the realization that my eldest had again crawled into my bed during the night came when I pulled the duvet the hide under it from my alarm and a little voice said, “Hey mommy, stop it, you are stealing my blankie!” Hmm, ok, so two out of three kids are in my bed and no hubby, first place I looked I found him, the top bunk of the beds next door. It seems that when Boo decided our bed was a better bet for sleep he just swapped over preferring the single top bunk to our queen size cramped with children. No problem, its actually quite comfortable, I spent the previous night in it.

So, up and at em! All three monkeys dragged themselves through to the lounge for their morning dose of milk and high energy cartoons and as they don’t normally attend school on a Thursday I didn’t have to worry about the usual school routine of: Where’s your bag, brush your teeth, what do you mean you can’t find socks, exactly which pink shirt will make you happy, etc.

I schlep my bleary eyed self into the shower and get ready for work, I know I have a busy day, and one that required both heels and lipstick due to all the meetings scheduled.

Dressed and heading in rote fashion to my coffee cup to inject a bit or much needed energy into myself, I notice my phone display is on. Oh crap, the dreaded missed calls from the nanny, the day before a four day weekend, urgh, I know what’s coming…

Turns out my psychic powers are still undefeated as when I phoned her she gave me a long story about being in clinic having been up all night vomiting. Ok, so granted these things happen, but they seem to frequently happen before long weekends, they also only seem to happen when I have a major day at work planned, Smoo is busy and GG has plans. Ergh, what to do.

6:45am – wake up Smoo roughly demanding help
6:50 – two out of three girls dressed and rubbing sleep out of their eyes
6:55 – all are dressed, I am packing school bags while Smoo supervises teeth brushing
7:05 – we are out the door and into the car
7:10 – we leave home cheerfully reciting our THRASS, eistedford poem and counting

Shew, so far its all coming together and while they was a fair bit of drill sergeant ordering from my side we managed to arrive at school relatively unscathed by the mornings surprise rush.

And then, dooom (sorry Brigit Jones, I think it sounds better when I say it), I remember it is holiday program at the school and each day they have a special activity, usually something that requires some prep from mommy. Crapola, what is it today I think as I frantically scan the colorful spreadsheet outside the classroom door.

Teddy Bear’s Picnic.

Doooooooom, we didn’t bring Teddy’s or food and the girls have now figured that out by talking to their friends.

Time for some fast talking, reassuring the girls I will make a plan I duck out of the school to head to work, headset plugged in and phone working overtime.

Great, GG can take them each a picnic, there won’t be teddies but my mom packs a helluva picnic so that will make up for it.

Breathe. Drive. Get to work.

Everything prepped for my meetings and suddenly interrupting the sacred quiet of worksheet time in the office the theme song for Sons of Anarchy blasts out. (There is no daughters of anarchy so this was the best alternative as a ringtone to alert me to the school calling.

Teacher: I don’t know if this is going to make or break your day, but Oogie has just projectile vomited her porridge all over me and herself.
Me: Crap! Erm, crap, um, ok, sorry am just thinking of what (or who) I can juggle to get her.
Teacher: I think it could just be that she is a bit annoyed at being here, (euphemism for throwing great big snotty tantrum) so I will keep an eye on her but if it does happen again she will have to go home.
Me: (tears are coming but I will hold them back) Thank you, I will make a plan if I need to.

Onto the phone tree, Smoo can take leave if he has to, sorted.

Phone call from GG: Well, the picnic was a small one at 9:30 and I got there at 11 so no need for me to leave it, will bring it round tonight.

Counting up those bad mommy moments? I sure was!

Anyway, managed to overcome some major hurdles at work and leave 20 mins early to get to the school. Lights were out and traffic was horrible, par for the course, I can get through the rest of the day.

Fetch the girls, they all survived the day with no instantly recognizable problems from being picnic deprived, Oogie looking fairly cheerful with the tell tale red eyes that tell me the great big snotty tantrum went on for a while, but all are ok.

Smoo makes boerie rolls for dinner, GG brings the picnics and the girls feast on cheese sarmies, cheese curls and milky bar buttons washed down with a barbie juice.

I wash the day away with a beer (I had forgotten to put the wine in the fridge ok? Unforgivable I know but I’m not freaking super woman).

Star charts are done, the girls head off to bed, I watch some Cougar Town reruns ( I am SO Ellie) and that should be that…except its not.

Callee has a fever, won’t settle, won’t stay in her bed, neurofen paed, now she’s delirious, stealing my pillow and telling me alternately that she does / doesn’t want me.

She settles, I begin to snooze, drifting into dreamland where coffee rivers turn into wine at twelve, wonderful…

Ripped from my doze by hysterical screaming from the girls room. Rush there, Puppe is beside herself because there is a spider next to her bed (not real, dreamed) stomp on imaginary spider, get told by Oogie that her sister is naughty for waking her up and settle Puppe. Two minutes later she is knocking on my door: want to sleep by you.

Well, I give in, she is now on Smoo’s side of the bed, Oogie on my side and there is a bit of space for me in the middle. Smoo will have to take the bottom bunk tonight.

Now, I can’t sleep and am wondering if the wine is cold yet!

Thinking about it a bit more I may have to change the title of this post, however the idea of the shock reaction of any one searching for bad mommies (you know, the kinky kind) and coming across this post makes me smile so I will probably leave it as is!